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Caregiver Help
Caring For Both Of Us
Sometimes
you may be so deeply concerned about the well-being of the
person for whom you are caring that you forget your own needs.
Don't "burn the candle at both ends" and become
exhausted, emotionally stressed or ill. This could compromise
your own quality of life and your ability to care for your
family member.
You owe it to yourself and to your family to maintain your
own physical and emotional health by:
- Getting sufficient sleep
- Eating a healthy diet
- Staying physically fit
- Having periodic health check-ups
- Not abusing alcohol and drugs
- Spending social time with family and friends
- Pursuing your own interests
- Seeking support from family, friends, professionals, religious
advisors or joining peer support groups
- Using appropriate in-home and community-based services.
Keep
in mind that it is normal to feel angry, frustrated, or depressed
from time to time. Caregiving can be a difficult, as well
as a rewarding undertaking.
If
you are feeling stressed, angry, or depressed:
- Remove yourself from the situation by walking away, even
if it's just around the house
- Talk to someone to whom you feel close
- Call a hotline
- Talk with your doctor or other health professional
- Write down your feelings in a journal
How Can I Improve
Our Quality of Life?
Older Americans and their caregivers sometimes fall victim
to myths that become self-fulfilling prophecies. One is that
being old means being sick. The other is that old age and
dementia go hand-in-hand. The truth, however, is far more
positive.
Truth
# 1. Old age and sickness are not synonymous. The majority of older
people are healthy, and, if they are not, many chronic conditions
and illnesses can be controlled or treated. Visit with your
care receiver's physician on how to treat his or her illness.
Truth # 2. While the incidence of dementia increases
as people age, the majority of older people score well on
tests of cognitive functioning. Those who do not, often have
underlying medical problems which account for decreases in
cognitive functioning.
Maximizing The
Care Receiver's Independence and Health
Keeping or restoring health in the later years often requires
more effort and determination than when you were younger.
It includes:
- A healthy diet. If your relative or friend has medical
problems, you can ask the physician if changes in diet should
be made and whether you should consult a registered dietitian
for additional information.
- Supplements of certain vitamins and minerals should
only be given if ordered by a physician. Always remember
that more is not always better, that nothing takes the place
of a healthy diet, and that some vitamins and herbs can
be dangerous if taken in excess or in the presence of certain
medical conditions.
- Taking prescriptions as ordered by a physician. Drug interactions can cause symptoms that may mimic Alzheimer's
Disease.
- Exercise. If your older relative or friend is reasonably
healthy, he or she can begin a regular program of exercise
including stretching, weight training, and low impact aerobics,
after discussing it with his or her physician. Exercise
can help one avoid accidents, improve strength and mobility,
lower blood pressure, and it can help prevent or control
some diseases. If your care receiver is frail or ill, you
can ask the physician about what exercises may be appropriate.
Over time, these exercises can help increase strength and
mobility.
- Stay involved with family and friends.
- Take part in community activities, such as going to
senior center activities.
Choosing
Health Care Providers
When choosing physicians, check their qualifications. What
is their academic background and experience? Are they board
certified in their practice area? You may want to accompany
your older relative or friend to the appointment and take
notes. This helps to insure that you both understand what
medical course of action is recommended, and it gives you
the opportunity to observe the interaction between the doctor
and your relative.
The health care provider's attitude toward older persons is
important. Is he or she interested in caring for older persons,
and is he or she willing to take the extra time to conduct
a thorough examination? Can you and your relative ask questions?
One note of caution — If your relative is not
in managed care, try to choose health care providers that
are either preferred or participating providers if your insurance
requires it to make standard payments. Otherwise, you may
be responsible for a large percentage of the bill. This is
also true for hospitals and all of their subcontractors, such
as anesthesiologists.
If your care receiver is limited in his or her physical abilities,
ask the physician about the possibility of having physical,
speech, or occupational therapy.
When Your Care
Receiver Lives With You
It is important for you, your relative or friend, and other
family members to evaluate the positive and negative aspects
of living together. This is especially true if you are an
employed caregiver or if you have other family responsibilities.
Every family's situation is unique. Listed below are some
of the benefits and drawbacks that may result. It is important
for your relative or friend to take part in the decision,
and to be a valued and contributing member of the family with
meaningful roles, whenever possible.
Points to consider:
- If your care receiver needs considerable care you will save
the expense of a long- term care facility or, at least, some
in- home services.
- You know that your care receiver is getting the best possible
care because you are either providing it yourself or directly
overseeing the care.
- You will be able to make major decisions which can give
you a sense of empowerment.
- You will have more time to spend with your family member.
- Your children will have an opportunity to spend more time
with their grandparent(s) or other older relative, have an
important lesson in compassion and responsibility, learn about
their roots, and develop a sense of family continuity.
- If your care receiver is fairly healthy, he or she may help
with household tasks, and/or with the children.
- You may have less time for yourself and/or other family
members and if you work you may find conflicts between your
job and caregiving responsibilities. Some employment versus
care giving responsibilities may be relieved, especially in
light of the technology revolution that is taking place where
telecommuting may now be an option.
- Depending on your lifelong relationship, you may find that
you and/or your relative resent changes in your relationship
that may take place.
- You will lose at least some of your privacy.
- Other family members may resent the new arrangement.
- There may be less space for everyone in the family.
- You may find that hands-on caregiving is too physically
and/or emotionally demanding.
If you decide that you do want to live together, you might
want to try it on a trial basis. You might consider renting
or subletting your care receiver's home on a short-term basis
so that he or she has the option of returning home if the
new arrangement does not work out to everyone's satisfaction.
You will want to consider what, if any, physical changes need
to be made to your residence and how much they will cost.
Will Intergenerational
Living Work?
As a guide, you may want to ask the following questions:
- Is your home large enough so that everyone can have privacy
when they want it?
- Is there a separate bedroom and bath for your family
member, or can you create an accessory apartment?
- Are these rooms on the first floor? If not, can your
relative climb stairs safely?
- Can you add to or remodel your home to provide a first-floor
bedroom and bath? Do you need to add safety features such
as ramps and better lighting?
- Does the bathroom have a shower, is it large enough to
accommodate a wheelchair if needed, and can safety features,
such as grab bars, be installed to prevent falls?
- Are door openings wide enough for a wheelchair?
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